Long Talks.

Today I had an appointment with my gynecologist to check my blood pressure after I had pre-eclampsia when I went into labor. As always, she started the check up pretty normal, she went over the medication I was taking, asked about how my labor went and my son was doing. Finally, I asked her how I would know if I had postpartum depression. It was something I was extremely concerned about seeing how I was crying nonstop for a while and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't help but feel down.

 She then told me, what is it with women in this country? She asked me to explain everything I was feeling and we proceeded to have a great talk. She gave me so much good advice and I honestly hadn't felt better in so long. I saw my boyfriend, baby, family, and in-laws in such a better light. I decided that I would stop feeling sorry for myself and take action. I really am not depressed.

After the long talk with her, I realized  I was taking my boyfriend for granted. I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't sleep. I am missing home. I am missing my parents and feel stressed about their situation. I have to realize that although my parents are my world, I don't live with them anymore. I need to focus and worry about my own family. If not, I will go crazy worrying about myself and my parents. Things get so hard and I want to take on so much. I need to realize that I need to take on things one at a time and live life by the moment.

Right now, I'm watching my boys sleep. Boy do they look so peaceful. Junior always sleeps so good next to his daddy. I couldn't have asked for a better man.

Love, Maria.

Good night!

Quarentena.

Sweet baby Jesus! I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy a whole week and a day ago! I know I still can't believe it myself. He's been living with us for three. How about that? AND he's alive and glowing and all that other great shiz. 

First Bath 

Today we took Junior his first bath and BOY did he love the water. I'm just going to leave out how he was screaming bloody murder the minute we took him out until we finished dressing him and gave him a bottle. 

And YES I said bottle. No I do not mean formula. Which I am using. What a bad mother I must be. But let me tell you, this little boy was in the hospital for four whole days and he got used to the bottle. So whenever I try to give him boob, he cries, get's frustrated and acts like he's not hungry anymore. HashtagWHYME. 

So I have decided to pump, pump, pump. Which is hard on my nipples, but I'll prefer this over giving him formula 24/7. I'm still so confused on how to feed him, when, how much. But I'm getting the hang of it and ignoring what the doctor says. 

Till later, thanks for reading.

Missing you.

My son isn't home with us yet. 

He's doing more tests and he might be coming home tomorrow. The anticipation is really killing me. Whenever we go to visit him I leave crying because he can't come with me. 

He really is starting to look better though. He's gaining more weight and getting color. He also passed his hearing test with flying colors. I'm going to praying that he comes home tomorrow. 

My boyfriend is currently fixing our room so we can put him in there. Everything is worth it for my handsome little guy. I also hope he gets to take his pictures tomorrow. 

Babies.

Hey there, hi there, ho there! Guess what? My beautiful baby boy was born on October 4 at 6:55pm! Heeeey. That's something to be super happy about. I'm truly happy and excited. Motherhood holds so much and I can't even begin to explain how I'm feeling. But I'll try. 😊 

So around 2 am on the fourth, I was like hey Jorge I'm not feeling so hot. I don't got my spunk man, so we called my mom and she said go to the hospital. Later, do I find out my contractions are four minutes apart and I had no idea they were even contractions! 

Then they told me I had preeclampsia! That was scary. I got put on medicine that made me all groggy. Later, I got put on pain meds that made me super loopy. I was as high as a kite. 

To make this long story short, I started pushing at two o'clock and for some reason his head wouldn't come out and I was crying, being a drama queen. I wanted a csection so bad and my boyfriend wouldn't let me give up. Kudos to him for putting up with me. That's them. ⬇️ 💙

and then around 6 I was like vacuum him! And they did since I had been going at it for so long! And 55 minutes later he was here. All cute and hairy looking at 6 pounds 3 ounces. I can honestly my boyfriend and I couldn't have made a better human being. 

My boyfriend has been so amazing. He's very attentive to my needs especially with the stitches and swelling and everything else. I'm so happy. So in love with both of my boys.