A change.

I'm really not good at keeping a blog or journal or whatever it may be up to date. I get way to lazy to write. Or I'll read someone else's writing, compare it to mine and find it completely inadequate and throw in the towel.

I MUST STOP. If I ever expect to develop any type or writing ability/career I must not put myself down.

This also goes for other aspects of my life. I'm constantly berating myself. How I look, how I dress, how I do my makeup, how my relationship runs, how my family is. Instead of trying to build up my self confidence or make my life a little more positive, I'm bringing myself down about everything. It is honestly making me so happy and probably ruining a lot of things for me.

I vow to make a change.

Today, my boyfriend and I decided instead of going to a baby shower we would go out to eat. Instead, we stayed in and baby sat his little brother. I was so disappointed even though we ordered food. (That I didn't want.) Instead of appreciating that he still bought food and his other brothers later brought food I did want, I was upset and basically ignored him because I didn't get my way. That was not the way to go about things. I know this now. That I look back at that hour I wish I could take back.

We all make mistakes. And boy do I make mistakes. and keep making mistakes. It's a never ending cycle.

I'm going to start making the changes I need to become a happier person and not a grouch.

A mean old grouch with lots of cats that will eat my body after it begins to decompose because no one wants to be around me.

Good night lovelys.